Sit down and ask yourself: ‘What is my story?’ ‘What is driving me?’
I ask myself these questions even after 50+ years. Our narrative is ongoing and continuous and can take new twists and turns at any moment as we go along our trail. I think of myself as ‘walking a nameless path that opens before me as I tread upon it.’
You can think about your life as an ongoing hero’s adventure. You don’t become a hero in the end, you must be living a heroic life all along until being a hero is just everyday life.
In a way, just being alive requires heroic effort. A creative must think of themselves as the hero or protagonist or champion of their own story in his or her own life. What does being a hero mean to you? What qualities does a hero have? How does a hero act? What does a hero aspire toward? How does a hero overcome unsurmountable obstacles? Imagine to yourself what your hero ideal is and then try to live up to that, practice acting that way, thinking that way, being that way.
If you pay attention, you will also notice, as a hero on his/her quest, some divine intervention or gifts from the gods. Watch for these as you go along. These might come in the form of an unlikely encounter with someone who opens a door for you or an improbable event that propels you along your way. Watch for these and acknowledge them. Write them in your journal, reflect upon them. This happens all the time to creative people and probably everyone else.
In your heroic journey toward the goal you point yourself toward, you must always be honing your skills, sharpening you wits, improving your strategies, gaining wisdom from your experiences and developing and testing your philosophy. Your personal philosophy is developed when you seek to understand fundamental truths about yourself, the world in which you live, and your relationships to the world and others.
Some people might adopt philosophical ideas from the writings of the Stoics or Taoists or Sufis or Zen Buddhists or the Samuri warriors or other creatives all of whom have practical advice of how to look at and interact with life, how to go about living. These are the masters sharing the fruits of their accomplishments. All fruit contains seeds. These are the seeds of wisdom that you can grow for your own story. There is much wisdom out there to draw counsel from. It is like medicine for the heart and mind that can be applied to how we live, how we respond to life. Accepting life exactly how it is at any given moment runs through all wisdom traditions.
This is one possible narrative you can build for yourself. How do you think of your personal narrative? What is your autobiography? What’s the angle, the viewpoint? Are you a hero? A villain? A victim? A tragic character? A scholar? An opportunist? A social warrior? A bum? A mystic? A sage? A healer? A destroyer? A refugee? An Ubermensch? A complex combination? What is your narrative of yourself? How does your artistic quest fit the narrative, express the narrative? What is your story?
For all of us there is already a narrative about ourselves in our head. Some or most of that narrative was put in there by other people. You could call this your indigenous narrative since it is what grew up while you were not designing it. A kind of found material. If you are keeping a daily journal, and you should, then you could ask yourself everyday: “What am I telling myself about me and the world around me? Do I think I am a hero? A jerk? A success? A failure? A disappointment? Humanity’s greatest hope? Try to pay attention to that voice inside of yourself that is telling you who and what you are, write it down even if it is painful or embarrassing. How do you think of your relationship to your world? We are all living in our own private world. How do you think of yours?
If you maintain a consistent inquiry over time you will begin to see how your narrative is playing out. If you like it, keep going. If you don’t, start figuring out how you want your narrative to develop, start making little tweeks, little edits in the story and over time you can completely reshape your narrative in a more conscious way. Think of yourself as a work of art in progress, a happening, an event, an unfolding story that can be written and rewritten as you go along.
Your personal narrative is your identity in many ways. It is an inventory of your own mind.
That inventory contains your strengths, weaknesses, character qualities, personality traits, idiosyncrasies, quirks, inclinations, repulsions, practices, personal rituals, assumptions, prejudices, disciplines or lack of them, you sense of purpose, point of view, your path or trajectory.
The best way to explore yourself and your life is to do so without judgement, just accept things the way they are like you are observing nature. Otherwise, you are likely to overlook things you don’t want to see. It doesn’t matter what is there. It only matters that you take it in and study yourself in an even handed and impartial way. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you think about yourself or what others think about you. It is a matter of having a clear-eyed understanding of what is there. Once you know that, then you can begin to critique what you find and decide if there are things you want to shift around, add, alter, or eliminate from your narrative or change direction.
Often, I have found clues about myself by studying my artworks. I see poetic meanings in how I decide to do things or what imagery I am working on, etc. Everything we do is autobiographical in some way or other. But it is often difficult to unravel its meaning and that meaning is often multi layered and has intertwining meanings and purposes. Your art is a private language, there is no reason to think anyone else can decipher or interpret the inner meanings of what you are doing. The poetic meaning of an artwork can be an open secret hidden in plain view.
My secret plan is to eventually make the posts in the Touchonian a book about the Creative Lifestyle for Artists. You, my favorite readers, are privy to the book in it’s formation. I would really appreciate your help by making comments, asking questions and suggesting topics I should explore and write about. It is hard for me to dream up what artists need and want to know to keep going and keep creating. I have fifty years of figuring out all of the details I needed to keep going and become self-sustaining as an artist and want to share enough insight to smooth the path for others facing this complicated, daunting task of being a self-sustaining artist. I know from experience it can feel overwhelming, unreachable and even depressing. So feel free to say or ask something! Thanks in advance.
TAKE A MOMENT: Take a couple of deep breaths. Drink some water.
Indigenous narrative - I need this term!
Thank you for your sage advice. I find your writing supportive in many ways, today’s post especially.